April, 2008

Jessica Rabbit Is Hot Despite Not Being Real

Remember the “human-like” versions of Mario and Homer from a while ago? Well pixeloo is at it again, this time with a smoking hot Jessica Rabbit. There, I said it. She’s not real and she’s hot. Can you see what I’m doing now? I’m doing that thing that the cartoon wolf does where his eyeballs [...] [...more]

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Brooke Hogan goes to college

Brooke Hogan scoped out the campus of Florida Atlantic University while filming an episode of her new reality show Brooke Knows Best. For stopping by, campus administrators gave her a paperweight. Ooh, weighty. Brooke was also asked to join the football team, wrestling team (obv), weight lifting team, shotput team and the Florida Atlantic Chapter [...] [...more]

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Paris Hilton banned from Russian hotel

Christ, she’s lanky. Oh, hey, guys. Didn’t see you there. I was just checking up on our friend Paris Hilton who managed to get herself banned from a Russian hotel. The offense? Writing on the wall. Apparently the suite didn’t come with a day-care worker! Ba-doom-SHA. StarPulse.com reports: The hotel heiress, 27, wrote ‘Paris Moscow 2008′ [...] [...more]

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Kelly Brook dumped by idiot Billy Zane

Billy Zane just doomed himself to a lonely, bald existence after calling off the engagement to British actress/model Kelly Brook. Think of her as an English Kim Kardashian. But, you know, healthy and not walking a razor’s edge towards morbid obesity. Us Magazine reports: “We can confirm that Kelly and Billy have split,” Brook’s manager, John [...] [...more]

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Mariah Carey: I’d feel ‘violated’ having a kid

Mariah Carey’s biological clock may be ticking (She’s almost 40. Eww!), but she’s in no rush to procreate. Despite having all the ample body parts to do so. Wait, almost 40. Bad penis! NY Daily News reports: “I don’t think I could properly educate a child right now. Maybe in the future, but I actually haven’t [...] [...more]

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Tyra Banks, Ryan Seacrest eligible for Emmy’s

Good morning! There’s nothing like waking up to a slap in the face by the fact that our country is barreling towards rampant retardation at friggin’ lightspeed. The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (I’ll assume formed by Mr. Wizard) has announced that reality TV hosts such as Tyra Banks (above) and Ryan Seacrest are [...] [...more]

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Marlee Matlin bounced from ‘Dancing With the Stars’

For the third consecutive week, a last-place finish has led to elimination on “Dancing With the Stars.” This week’s celebrity casualty was Marlee Matlin, who came into Tuesday’s results show with 21 out of 30 points. The actress lost her timing at various points during her mambo Monday with professional partner Fabian Sanchez, and the [...] [...more]

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Could Killer O.J. Simpson be the next Celebrity Apprentice?

IT looks like there could be “killer” ratings in store for TV’s “The Celebrity Apprentice” if OJ Simpson gets his way. Page Six has learned the creepy double-murder acquittee has asked Donald Trump to allow him to appear on the top-rated NBC show next season. “Simpson really wants to do it. Trump and NBC are [...] [...more]

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Miley Cyrus Signs Seven-Figure Book Deal

Miley Cyrus has signed a seven-figure book deal with Disney Book Group, the teen star’s publisher announced Tuesday. The book will focus on the 15-year-old’s road to fame, from growing up in Tennessee to navigating the spotlight as an international star, and how her family – especially mother Leticia – helps keep her grounded. According to [...] [...more]

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